After a failed Friday night date night attempt due to tardiness (definitely not on my part since "being late" is my biggest pet peeve) and missing the event. $300 down the drain. I was effin' pissed and there were tears and a "F-YOU!!".
Someone knew they were in the doghouse and wanted to make it up to me. Instead, it became a Saturday night date night as an apology and an overnight getaway to Austin since that was their next scheduled appearance. Re-purchased the tickets, packed an overnight bag, made reservations to the Omni Barton Creek Resort & Spa and drove 3 1/2 hours to Austin. We made it to Austin in just enough time to check into our hotel, change our outfits, and made it 15 minutes prior to the gates opening at the Austin360 Amphiteathre.
(We were so close to Aziz!!)
We were in the center of the amphitheater and fourth row back!! Talk about prime heckling zone, however, we were not the victims of any verbal abuse.
5 hours of non-stop laughs!! Of the 15 comedians we saw 14 did not disappoint and I left with sore cheeks and deeper crows feet wrinkles.
My absolute faves were: Aziz Ansari, Amy Schumer, Anthony Jeselnick, Nick Thune, T.J. Miller, Jak Knight, Big Jay Oakerson, and Jeff Ross.
Aziz cracked me up talking about his girlfriend forcing him to eat pork and drinking his water.
Amy is stunningly beautiful in person. She was talking about other names for sexual acts and asked the audience if they knew of any that benefitted the lady. A drunk guy shouted out, "Angry Pirate! You cum in her eye and kick her in the shin." Amy went on to demonstrate the act and was so confused how this benefits the lady. Haha!!
Anthony Jeselnick is extremly attractive in person and has that cool-but-better-than-you vibe which I loved. He explained that how his family begs to be put into his skits and joked about his brother masturbating outside and how his brother thought it was messed up that he was trying to have sex with him. "Say what? No man!"... "but you said to get inside." Yes, you just had to be there.
Nick Thune told us about his dog who ate a VHS tape sized pot brownie and how he's been sober for a year now.
T.J. Miller must have been sponsored by Evian Facial Spray and went on to unload two spray bottles on his face. He was soaking wet. Haha!!
While I cannot remember what Jak Knight joked about I do remember thinking how impressed I was by him and laughed during his entire skit. I had not heard of him prior to the event.
Big Jay Oakerson talked about how you can't just be friends with the opposite sex if you are a female and suggested all of us ladies run through our contact lists of "just friends" and offer up blow jobs. He guaranteed not a single one of them would decline.
... and Jeff Ross brought audience members on stage who wanted to be roasted. My favorite line... "I've been a pothead but you are a potbody."
After the show wrapped up we were starving but I had to make sure that I got a tee as a souvenir and one I had my eye on when we first walked in. It says "Never Sold Dope" and was worn by the tours DJ... DJ Trauma. He was incredible!
So onto a midnight snack. We hoped to make it to The County Line for some of the best BBQ but they were closed so we went for Plan B... In-N-Out. Those fries are the best!
Back at the hotel we passed out as soon as our heads hit the pillows.
This morning I woke up at 6:30, searched the room for a coffee maker but one was not found, and sat out on the balcony to watch the sunrise. Forgetting how clear the skies are I was able to stargaze prior to the sun breaking the hills. It's a breathtaking view and a moment filled with tranquility.
We made it downlotsofstairs for breakfast and enjoyed the buffet. Omni hotels never disappoint with food quality. So damn good.
Afterwards we decided to explore the grounds. Walked a nature trail, played mini-golf, chess, and ping pong for a good hour. Comedy show not included playing ping pong was my favorite activity and ended on that note so we could make it back home at a reasonable time and for football.
I cannot wait to go back to Austin because I want to explore more of what this beautiful city has to offer but until then I'll curl up on the couch with Aziz's new book, Modern Romance.
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