My son lied to me tonight.
It was the first time in his 6 years that he elaborated a story that made it sound as though his safety was in jeopardy while in someone else's care. That someone being his dad... we share custody following a loosey goosey standard order of possession. On a side note, with all that we are dealing with I don't have anything bad to say about his dad and would have no reason to question his judgment with our son. Onto the lie...
My son told me that while out at a restaurant his dad ran to the bathroom and left him sitting in a booth when a man with a beard wearing a skeleton shirt came over and started picking at my son's finger nails. He stated that he did what I had taught him by yelling "stranger danger" but no one could hear him. He claimed his dad came out of the bathroom, ran over after seeing the man there, and scooped him up to take him to another part of the restaurant.
Upon hearing the story I sent his dad a text message to address the issue. He called me back immediately but requested to talk to our son. My son admitted he lied and then burst into tears. He was very apologetic for lying and understood that he told the lie and that lying is wrong.
I was relieved the story wasn't true but was upset about him lying. The lie felt like a reflection on my parenting.
My parents would have made me write 100 sentences of "I will not lie.", send me to my room for a week, and absolutely no privileges. What I hated most was writing those sentences. I can still feel the cramp in my hand and have the callous on my finger as a constant reminder of that lesson.
What works as punishment for one kid doesn't necessarily work for another. It's not that I don't think writing sentences would be effective but his imagination is running wild right now and actually writes stories in his free time. The stories aren't based on any reality I know to be true. He has a very vivid imagination. I don't want him to hate writing which has become his positive and creative outlet.
Instead it was made clear that lying will not be tolerated and going forward if he lies he will lose privileges and punishment will be in the form of restitution.
After the first time he has to scrub the baseboards clean I'm sure he'll remember the quote to "Keep it simple. Keep it honest. Keep it real."
... now how do I explain a white lie? Sigh. Parenting is a tough gig.
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