Livin' It Up... "Counseling" Check-In with Little Man

I think it's important that I maintain open dialogue and clear communication with Little Man. I have fears over him coming from a "broken home" and want him to be able to effectively communicate. He's a sensitive and overly critical of himself. My hope is that he'll overcome challenges he faces presently and in the future.

About once a week I sit down with him in a casual environment and ask a handful of questions:

1. How are things at home? (He knows if anything is discussed in regards to his father's home that it is kept confidential between us. I want him to always know that he can trust me when I say he can tell me anything. I would never intervene unless he was in danger.)
2. How do you feel about school?
3. How do you feel your behavior at school is?
4. How are your work habits at school?
5. How are your friendships?

These are great conversation starters and help serve to teach him self-reflection.

Some of these questions have brought up serious conversations, about:

• Loss of friendships
• That a loss can be big or small such as losing a toy or the loss of life... Little Man experienced this first hand when his great grandma passed away.
• Which sacrifices yield the greatest results.
• Putting aside your own feelings in favor of someone else's.
• Some memories shape who we are.
• Emotions are okay but how to effectively handle anger and sadness
• Finding positives
• Spending time with loved ones
• Breaking rules and violating trust
• Learning to adapt when something doesn't go our way.
• Recognizing what we have control over and things we cannot change.
• Never giving up
• Self control starts with the mouth... This is a hard lesson to teach coming from someone with no filter. I'm still a work in progress too.

Positive outlets Little Man has been taught:

• Exercising
• Journal
• Being with others 
• Watching a favorite movie or show or listening to a favorite song
• Work on a puzzle or play a board game
• Take a nap
• Have a relaxing bubble bath
• Read a book
• Paint
• Get a hug
• Create or build something
• Look at photographs
• Get some fresh air and play at the park

I don't ever want to hear something second hand about my son's mental well-being and I hope he'll know he can always come to me for help with anything.